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Secret Service Director Resigns Over Terrible Protection of the President

Julia Pierson is out as the director of the Secret Service following story after story in recent days about the agency's shocking incompetency, including the one about a man running wild through the White House with a knife. Department of Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson announced her predictable exit in a statement: Today, Pierson "offered her resignation, and I accepted it," he said. "I salute her 30 years of distinguished service to the Secret Service and the Nation."

ISIS Is Using Darren Aronofsky’s Noah for Recruitment

While promoting his ark epic Noah earlier this year, director Darren Aronofsky said the flood myth “belongs to all of us – every religion, every culture, every citizen of planet Earth.” It seems his words found an unintentional audience in the design team over at Dabiq, the Western-aimed recruiting magazine put out by the terrorist group ISIS.

“I was going to say I don’t think anyone is going to use Noah to recruit people to become true believers and go out and kill people,” said the director in a discussion at the New Museum Visionaries Series last night. “Although I just found out that ISIS, in their newsletter, is using imagery from my movie to make a point.”

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Maybe the Boston Herald Cartoonist’s Dumb Watermelon Joke Was Just a Mistake

The cartoon above ran in today’s Boston Herald. Like the vast majority of editorial cartoons, it’s pretty dumb. Unlike the vast majority, it has been widely denounced and (sort of) apologized for, on account of its boneheaded choice of toothpaste flavors.

Obviously, using watermelon as the punch line was a terrible idea. The question is whether something worse than an inadvertent slip-up is at work here. Ta-Nehisi Coates says yes, there was:

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Dapper Dan Can Ballroom Dance All Night

Name: Dapper Dan
Age: "Are you talking about chronological time or biological time?"
Neighborhood: Harlem
Occupation: Designer, hip-hop fashion icon. Next Tuesday, October 7, you can catch him at the book launch for Emily Spivack's Worn Stories, in which he is featured.

Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
I would have to say Robert Day, my father. But if you were referring to someone outside of the family, I would say John Henrik Clarke. He was the first person who opened my eyes historically to the problems that we face as a race, based on what we did as opposed to what was done to us. He taught me to always look to myself.

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All the Best Rumors About Kim Jong-un’s Two Broken Ankles

Ever since North Korea's George Clooney was seen limping in public this summer, there's been nonstop speculation about his continued ability to do everything perfectly all the time. Although he performed his photo-op duties through the pain for months, Kim Jong-un missed last week's parliamentary meeting and is reportedly recovering from double ankle surgery, launching rumors about the secretive country's dictator to Kardashian-West levels. Is it gout? Diabetes? High blood pressure? The high heels? All of the above?

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